A Rant On Love/Relationships

What is it about "love" that makes even the most seemingly intelligent people act like moronic neanderthals? 

Love. 

Why are we so hungry for it? Are we that starved for the feeling that we'll accept being used, hurt and exploited by others? Why does all logic go out the window once we feel those warm, mushy feelings toward someone?

If you have the answers, fill me in, because I'm clueless.  I can only assume that we're all just trying to fill the emptiness deep within us.  We try to fill that void in a number of ways, but for some of us "reciprocated love" is the ultimate filling. I mean, there's no better feeling than being IN LOVE or even feeling loved by someone. 

...or maybe that's just me?

Yet, I find it amusing how easily "love" is confused with "attachment", "comfort", "dependency", "lust" and "infatuation". It's a shame how easily the L word is thrown around, especially to people who don't deserve it.

Speaking for myself, I believe that sharing (or rather, offering or giving) your love to another is the most selfless act one can commit. I'm not talking about a "Hey, I really like you, You're cute, Let's date, We've been together for x-amount-of-time so I must love you" kind of whirlwind thing. What I'm talking about is that true, unconditional love, rooted in authenticity and unplauged by denial or deceit.  Truthfully, I do believe this exists. When you truly love someone, your love for them is much grander than their, pitfalls, mistakes and flaws.  In fact, those things can't even diminish your love at the end of the day.

I'm not trying to imply that if your significant other treats you poorly, has serious issues, etc. you should accept their ill behavior, "because you LOVE them". Co-dependency ain't cute, ya'll.

I mean, once the anger/annoyance that their behavior may stir begins to subside, you realize that you STILL love them. You may not necessarily like the things they do, but your feelings for them never cease.

To love is to accept someone as they are. Acceptance is the framework for loving.

Hey, I may be delusional... Maybe just conditioned by society.... But I 100% believe in soul mates.

Do I think there's "The One" here on Earth for everyone?

No.

But I do believe we have, and will have, people that come into our lives that serve a significant purpose. That we feel connected to at the very core of our being. That shift our paradigm and teach us lessons. That help our souls grow and evolve. That are supposed to be part of our lives, for whatever reason it may be. Some of these "soul mates" may even hurt us, but they each serve a special purpose towards our overall GROWTH. There is something other-worldly about your connection, there's something more to it than what meets the eye.

Over the past few months, I've realized you can have a relationship with almost anyone if you really wanted it/were open enough. Once our guards are down, we may jump (actually, more like trip & stumble) into the "wrong" relationship.

Sometimes people just aren't compatible enough, despite how strongly they feel about each other.

If you find yourself "not loving" the person you "loved" once the relationship has ended, I don't believe you ever loved them in the first place. Love is not fleeting. Maybe the feelings were intense, but no...I don't think that's love. At least the type of love I strive for.

Love is seeing your partners flaws and inherent insecurities, but not judging them for them. "Judgment" "Mind games", "control", "power", "manipulation", "lies", "ultimatums", "one upmanship", "insults", "using" ARE NOT LOVE.

Someone who "loves" you for your looks, loves your looks. Not you.
Someone who "loves" you for what you do for them, loves what you do for them. Not you.
Someone who "loves" you only when you fit into their box, loves their ideal image of you. Not you.

When you find someone who loves you for the person that you are, you know it. And if you doubt it, they probably don't. "My love is not dependent on another" and sadly, with every relationship we ...or actually I... learn this the hard way.

I'm learning that it's better to love people from a distance, because maybe they just aren't ready/where you need them to be yet. Maybe you both need time to grow on your own before you should be together. Maybe the sole act of loving this human being, without reciprocation, is beautiful enough in itself.

But no matter how ugly they may act, you still see the beauty in them. No matter how many years go by, the sound of their name still makes your heart skip beats. No matter what has happened between you over time, you still hold that special place for them in your heart. Loving them feels good and loving them feels right. 

THAT is love.