Thursday, November 20, 2014

In A Perfect World

Wouldn't life be so much easier if people, in the most general of terms, were more transparent?  If pride didn't bring speaking from the heart into question? If arrogance and denial didn't trump fear of vulnerability or pain?


People are always telling me that I "complicate" and "analyze" things too often. Perhaps I do and perhaps the eyes of many view this as a flaw. At the end of the day all I'm trying to do is simplify things.

Why can't everyone just be forthright with their expectations or desires?  

It'd save us a lot of time (or wasted time)

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Is Ignorance Really Bliss?


Human beings. They're complex. We know this. Yet, there are few things I find more perplexing than the depth of the human mind. Do you ever stop to think that there are things the human mind, in all it's complexity and glory, are incapable of comprehending?

I once read a book that really struck a cord with me, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan.

The gist of the book is that obviously science and pseudoscience are different, but if one takes it a step further, they're one in the same. The narrative places a strong emphasis on the importance of skepticism, rationalism and logic, yet undermines their validity in the grand scheme of things.

Science is a process toward truth - a truth which has yet to be obtained. The emphasis is placed on questions that can be disproved, NOT necessarily on the proven. This leads me to think, can we really prove anything? Or are our thought systems and knowledge ultimately rooted in belief? What are these beliefs based on? What role does our stage, or level, of consciousness play in shaping these ideologies?

We are all ignorant to some degree. Truly, only a fool knows “everything”.   

We live in an era where celebrities, drama, materialism, violence and hedonism (...well..... I don't hate it) are glorified. We are bombarded with fallacies, greed, selfishness, negativity, subliminal messaging and toxicity on a daily basis. Many of us are so out of sync with reality, it's almost comical, really.

So, should ignorance be demonized or celebrated?

Overall, do we live in a credulous society where the majority is incapable of critical thought? Why is this so? 

Well, Sagan believes it is due to a lack of skepticism and methodical thinking. Who has the time to *gasp* weigh out the possibilities and thinking for themselves? Not those looking for ~validity~, the "answer", the quick fix.  In a society that breeds mediocrity, it requires A LOT less effort to blindly believe what we're told to be true (Sagan places emphasis on popular pseudo-sciences and government, primarily). 

Is having faith in the unknown a show of bravery of laziness?

One of the major rules in life, at least my life, is that you cannot help anyone who does not want to help themselves. But how can one help himself/herself if the issues are out of conscious awareness? 

This is why knowledge is celebrated and regarded as truth.  We need it, because it’s apparent, proven and helps us to discover/solve problems. Oddly enough, not everyone wants it. Knowledge, or truth, may sometimes feel like a huge blow to the stomach and change our minds, even our lives, completely.

Most people don't like change, myself included. 

Yet, knowledge itself is forever evolving (this is why Sagan believes science and pseudo-science are one in the same, facts change over time). 

He claims science is a tool to "shed light on ignorance (the dark)", which I totally agree. But at the same time, not all ignorance is “dark” or negative.

I have found that during times of intense stress or turmoil, I have a tendency to rely more heavily on belief, or even blind faith.  Mysticism, paranormal, astrological and other pseudo-sciences tend to take center stage over logic and reason. I like them. They feel good.

I’m normally not even conscious of it, but it all makes sense once I look at myself objectively; 
I crave escapism!  I crave blindness to the overwhelming difficulties in my life! I crave the sense of contentment from being ignorant to reality. "I'm blind to X,Y,Z, therefore there is no effect on me".

Or what about those happy-go-lucky people that let things go over their head? The happy wife who is unaware of her husband cheating? The man who believes the government has his best interest in mind? The loyal employee who works his ass off under the false guise it's getting him somewhere?

So in a sense the saying is true, “ignorance is bliss” - to a degree and based on perspective.

What about, self-induced ignorance? 

Is this where the true meaning of, “stupidity”, is burried? Perhaps it's teetering on the banks of, “self-destruction” or, "self-sabotage", which are certainly my forté! 

It doesn’t have to be that way. That’s the beauty of truth, facts, rationalism, science and logic; they help us to see things for what they are NOT. My ignorance does not have to exist

Am I happier not knowing the truth? No, not really. It may feel like it, but it’s temporary, fleeting, and an escape. Truth can never be ignored. So essentially, ignorance IS and IS NOT bliss.

Whether ignorance is bliss or not, we can never answer the question empirically.

Even rationalism, logic and science cannot prove this as it's SUBJECTIVE! Rooted in BELIEF!

 The point I’m trying to make is WE KNOW NOTHING WITH CERTAINTY and that's the beauty of life. Some things can't be disputed, but we can acknowledge them for what they are and keep an open mind.

Monday, November 10, 2014

A Rant On Love/Relationships

What is it about "love" that makes even the most seemingly intelligent people act like moronic neanderthals? 

Love. 

Why are we so hungry for it? Are we that starved for the feeling that we'll accept being used, hurt and exploited by others? Why does all logic go out the window once we feel those warm, mushy feelings toward someone?

If you have the answers, fill me in, because I'm clueless.  I can only assume that we're all just trying to fill the emptiness deep within us.  We try to fill that void in a number of ways, but for some of us "reciprocated love" is the ultimate filling. I mean, there's no better feeling than being IN LOVE or even feeling loved by someone. 

...or maybe that's just me?

Yet, I find it amusing how easily "love" is confused with "attachment", "comfort", "dependency", "lust" and "infatuation". It's a shame how easily the L word is thrown around, especially to people who don't deserve it.

Speaking for myself, I believe that sharing (or rather, offering or giving) your love to another is the most selfless act one can commit. I'm not talking about a "Hey, I really like you, You're cute, Let's date, We've been together for x-amount-of-time so I must love you" kind of whirlwind thing. What I'm talking about is that true, unconditional love, rooted in authenticity and unplauged by denial or deceit.  Truthfully, I do believe this exists. When you truly love someone, your love for them is much grander than their, pitfalls, mistakes and flaws.  In fact, those things can't even diminish your love at the end of the day.

I'm not trying to imply that if your significant other treats you poorly, has serious issues, etc. you should accept their ill behavior, "because you LOVE them". Co-dependency ain't cute, ya'll.

I mean, once the anger/annoyance that their behavior may stir begins to subside, you realize that you STILL love them. You may not necessarily like the things they do, but your feelings for them never cease.

To love is to accept someone as they are. Acceptance is the framework for loving.


Hey, I may be delusional... Maybe just conditioned by society.... But I 100% believe in soul mates.

Do I think there's "The One" here on Earth for everyone?

No.

But I do believe we have, and will have, people that come into our lives that serve a significant purpose. That we feel connected to at the very core of our being. That shift our paradigm and teach us lessons. That help our souls grow and evolve. That are supposed to be part of our lives, for whatever reason it may be. Some of these "soul mates" may even hurt us, but they each serve a special purpose towards our overall GROWTH. There is something other-worldly about your connection, there's something more to it than what meets the eye.

Over the past few months, I've realized you can have a relationship with almost anyone if you really wanted it/were open enough. Once our guards are down, we may jump (actually, more like trip & stumble) into the "wrong" relationship.

Sometimes people just aren't compatible enough, despite how strongly they feel about each other.

If you find yourself "not loving" the person you "loved" once the relationship has ended, I don't believe you ever loved them in the first place. Love is not fleeting. Maybe the feelings were intense, but no...I don't think that's love. At least the type of love I strive for.

Love is seeing your partners flaws and inherent insecurities, but not judging them for them. "Judgment" "Mind games", "control", "power", "manipulation", "lies", "ultimatums", "one upmanship", "insults", "using" ARE NOT LOVE.

Someone who "loves" you for your looks, loves your looks. Not you.
Someone who "loves" you for what you do for them, loves what you do for them. Not you.
Someone who "loves" you only when you fit into their box, loves their ideal image of you. Not you.

When you find someone who loves you for the person that you are, you know it. And if you doubt it, they probably don't. "My love is not dependent on another" and sadly, with every relationship we ...or actually I... learn this the hard way.

I'm learning that it's better to love people from a distance, because maybe they just aren't ready/where you need them to be yet. Maybe you both need time to grow on your own before you should be together. Maybe the sole act of loving this human being, without reciprocation, is beautiful enough in itself.

But no matter how ugly they may act, you still see the beauty in them. No matter how many years go by, the sound of their name still makes your heart skip beats. No matter what has happened between you over time, you still hold that special place for them in your heart. Loving them feels good and loving them feels right. 

THAT is love.